I'm not sure where to start, so I'll take this where my feelings guide me (there will be lots of emotions in this blog, so if feelings aren't for you, maybe try something a little lighter). If you're here reading this and you've found yourself in the space of needing love and comfort, then you were divinely guided to this moment here and now. Like many of you, there have been so many experiences, both negative and positive, that have shaped me into the woman that I am. I don't think that I've had a lousy life per se, but I feel that in my box I have experienced a lot of struggle. Now I am well aware that there are many others who have more "struggle" than I have or have had, so don't take this the wrong way. No piece of me is out to belittle anyone who could easily be in much worse situations than I am in. Just as others may have gone through more painful experiences. However, I think that struggle can be subjective when it comes to how we process our experiences and the trauma that comes from them. I also believe the energy surrounding specific experiences may be more traumatizing to each individual depending on past experiences ( lives, womb to womb). I won't sit here placing blame or not taking responsibility for the things that have happened to me, that's not the goal of this blog. I don't want this to be a bitch fest or a blame game. What I do want to come out of this is healing, growth, connection, and a place for everyone to feel safe understood, and most importantly, loved.
I won't get into specifics on what caused my struggles right now, I think that's too heavy, and honestly, there will be plenty of time for that. What I will say, is that my own trauma came with a boatload of self-loathing, self-deprecation, and lots and lots of fear. These demons have not entirely left me, so I'm not here with some magic "Chelsea's 10 steps to get your life together". As one can imagine, it's not easy to ignore that nasty little voice inside of your head that says "you're a worthless little piece of shit and no one likes you."
I understand this is all rather deep and to be honest that is my goal with this blog. I want to talk about anything and everything. It took me a while to come up with the little blurb on my Instagram page regarding what this is all about (discoveringchelsea) but when it hit me the words just flowed like the way it feels pouring that first cup of coffee in the morning (yea you know what that's like, liquid gold). If you haven't taken the time to venture over there, or don't care to, it says "An empaths journey to Breaking barriers-Defying Societal Norms-Finding Purpose-Embracing Self." If these words resonate with you, great! Keep reading. I'm at the point in my life that I am not willing to sugar coat my feelings or experiences just for others comfort. We spend way too much of our time trying to get people to like us when WE don't even like us. If you don't do those things, you must be lying, (just kidding) or you've made it to that point also, and you have a lot of wisdom to share.
Ok, so to break that down a little further I feel called to be a synergist for all of those things - breaking barriers, defying societal norms, finding purpose, and embracing self. I have been on this earth for 28 years, and to some that may not be long enough to have a say on how to do these things, but darn it I'm not going to hold back on their account. I'm going to do it with lots of ooey gooey feelings, experiences, stories, and probably tears. I've chosen to bring these messages to you through my love of words, travel, people, adventure, and art. After all, I'm a creator at heart.
A little about myself, now that I've dragged you through emotional turmoil to get to this point, my name is Chelsea. I have a 3-year-old daughter, a husband who is emotionally opposite of myself, two cats that are more trouble than cuddly, and a cute little home built in the 70's that still reflects the 70s' (wood paneling and all). I started writing "I am a wife, a mom" blah blah blah, but then I realized I don't feel like those are the pieces of me that make me who I am. That might be uncomfortable for some of you mommas and wifeys out there. That's fine, you can be defined by whatever you want to be defined by, but for me, the pieces that make Chelsea, Chelsea, are the things that make me feel human. So if I were to write anything that started with "I am" it would look like this: I am a conduit for love. I am a giver, a believer, a dreamer. I am an artist of all mediums. I am a feeler.
The last sentence probably sticks out to me the most. Its what drives me to do everything I do, even if that's ripping the hair out of my head because my kid asked me for a "bar" for the 3,000th time even though she already has a plate full of carrots, strawberries, and her entire breakfast that she decided not to eat. Yes, feeling. I feel things at such a high magnitude that my level of understanding the human being much outweighs anything I could acquire in this life that may try to define me. I am not trying to be braggy. I used to think it was a bad thing that I could FEEL literally everything. It is not, it's a gift. It is a responsibility. I feel responsible now for sharing how these feelings have guided me to obtain certain knowledge, wisdom, or fulfillment. If you are like me, you are not "wrong." You are not a mistake. You are not some weird science experiment, you are truly gifted.
I don't know what the rest of my life looks like right now. What I do know is how I want to feel, and how I want to make others feel. I know feelings; this is what I know. I intend to use social media as a different type of platform. I can no longer sit back and watch my beloved people dream for any unrealistic life that is being portrayed through the media. I am going to lay down hard truths. I may even expose some nasty lies. I will most definitely make people uncomfortable, but this is ok. Its good to be uncomfortable. You don't grow when you are comfortable. You can not make changes when you are comfortable. Will I be your cheerleader during this time? Damn straight! Will I try to paint a picture that my life is perfect so you can wish you were someone else? Fuck no. Will I offer you resources, stories, connections to help you expand, connect, breathe, find purpose, and love yourself? HELL TO THE YES.
So this blog, my social media, I, will be a safe place. It will be a sure fire way for you to know that you are not alone, you are loved, and you are worthy. There are so many days that I don't feel this way myself. I know that sharing my story with you and introducing other amazing women and men to you that are in similar places will unite us all. We get to talk about everything here. We get to experience human connection, emotion and spread a little more of something that we all need, love — Heres to discovering you as I discover Chelsea.